Authenticity & Resentment

“If we don’t say yes authentically, we say yes resentfully. And that leads to far more problems than if we’d said no in the first place.” – Dr. Brené Brown

How often do we agree to things out of obligation, fear, or guilt? Whether it’s taking on an extra project at work, attending a social event we’d rather skip, or saying yes to a favor we don’t have capacity for; when we agree without meaning it, we slowly chip away at our energy and well-being. As a Capability Coach, I often support clients who are trying to strike this balance: they want to be supportive and dependable, but often end up overcommitting and disconnecting from their own needs in the process.

This quote is a powerful reminder: if we don’t say yes authentically, we often say it resentfully; and that creates far more tension than a respectful no would have. Inauthentic yeses can lead to burnout, frustration, and even damaged relationships. Saying no, on the other hand, is a boundary that protects your capacity and honors your values.

True empowerment isn’t just about doing more, it’s about choosing wisely. When resentment creeps in, it’s a cue to pause and reflect. Is this decision aligned with what matters most to me? Am I choosing this out of intention or out of fear of letting someone down? Real capability shows up in the moments when we choose to respond, not just react.

This resonates with me personally. I’ve felt the pressure to agree, to go along, to avoid discomfort. But the more I practiced choosing what was meaningful rather than automatic, the more grounded and energized I became. It’s not about saying no to everything, it’s about saying yes to what truly aligns with you. Your time, energy, and truth are valuable. Honor them.

— Coach Breanne